Anger

I have anger in the depths of my soul . I tell you I have no idea where it comes from but it is there ! It wants me to grab hold and give what is not mine to give and to take what is not mine to take ! I am angry when I think how many kind, loving people in this world suffer while the most evil of all tend to walk freely with no ills. I am angry and I know some will want to fix me and say you shouldn't feel this way or say it out loud ! Well too bad I am just an immature person who can't seem to get past certain inequities in this world ! I want the good to be here longer to influence this place of sadness. I know all the things that make living wonderful but right here, right now in this moment I am mad as hell. Mad that people hurt others and don't seem to care. People disregard others and don't seem to care. People have accidents and carry the injuries with them always. People contract illnesses that they deal with for the rest of their lives. Life isn't fair. I am an woman who looks for the good in everyone and I usually am not disappointed but today I am angry ! I feel an anger that makes me want to run far from everyone far enough to live in a peaceful quiet that lends itself to inner healing. I suppose I am experiencing all the anger I have ever repressed in my life and it wants to explode out of me like projectile vomit. I am in need of a heart and soul cleansing. I am in need of a deep work , that only the Holy Spirit of God can do. I am a woman who can never be all I had hoped to be and this makes me angry. I know if I could be all that I want to be I would understand the workings of God and my anger would be gone but here am I this person who will find a way to work with what I have and that will be enough. Anger is as much a part of life as any other emotion so here I go on with my life letting this anger find expression on this page till the next explosion. This anger is as much a part of me as the joy I feel as well . Emotions will not rule me but they will be the thermometer that lets me know something is not right. If you feel anger you are human and do not let anyone tell you that you need to stifle it. Anger has its place in our lives. Anger can motivate us as well or better than any other emotion we have to change. I will change after I give full expression to this darkness that I have been hiding !