My Journey

Trouble comes in many forms, mine came as cancer. I was busy minding my own life when a day of cleaning and nesting was disrupted by blood on the front of my shirt. I stopped everything to begin the maddness called breast cancer. I did not really think it was a possibility, my mind had settled on the fact that my family dies from heart disease and in truth a sudden heart attack seems like a nice quick departure, one you don't have to meditate on but just accept and move on to your new address like my father did 29 years ago. This whole cancer thing is a bit much, so many appointments and so many chances of reoccurrence. I am living my life as best as I can with no real worries about what the furture holds until women I know are being overtaken by the disease. My heart skips a beat every time I read of the loss.
I think the hardest part is what this disease requires from you and your loved ones. It eats away at you and robs you of so much time and it takes you piece by piece till you no longer recognize the person in the mirror. More than anything it changes how others see you.
Strength is required when managing  an illness this relentless. Courage is required when navigating the choices you must make but most of all patience is needed to help those around you find their way through this change life has thrown at you. My biggest fear is that I might become a burden to the very ones I love the most.....that is the scariest prospect of all to me. Every time you look into the face of those around you there is concern in their eyes. Love is the greatest of all the gifts we give others and love burdens us with responsibilities we often feel overwhelmed by but cannot escape. I never want to be a burden, I want to live fully till I die, I want to be free.