Depression

I am writing today about something I have experienced often in life, depression. I am a person who struggles with sadness and anxiety and often despondency. People who do not know me well and even the ones who do are often shocked when I tell them this.  I think depression is a part of the genetic make up of my mom's DNA and thereby transferred to me because she and her family seem to have a lot of trouble with it as well. I write so as to find my way out of the storm. The past few years have been cloudy and sometimes very dark for me. I do have a great life and all the experiences have only deepened my love and ability to empathise but truth is I want a break. Some of the reasons I have experienced depression have been spawned by events such as ER visits, car accidents, illnesses, being a care giver for sick family, surgeries, life in general and death of loved ones. Those are all legit reasons to be depressed but in between I am one of those women who gets the highs and lows of my menstrual cycle to make the events last longer and to spark new episodes when the storm has already calmed. I am tired of not having motivation to do anything exciting or otherwise........I am in a rut. I want the energy and drive to get things done like I used to have. Some days it is all I can do to keep my home clean. I want to paint and do yard work but can't seem to motivate myself! How do you get past fatigue and depression when you are fighting migraines and body aches and all the messy stuff that comes with peri-menopause while living an already full life? I am in a flux but good news is I am not willing to stay here! I am going to open my pool this week and begin a long put off painting project in my house! I write today so my words will spur me to action! I am making a formal declaration here and now before everyone I know ........... Pam is picking up her sorry tired behind and getting on with the beautification of her home and life! I am going to read more as well and do things that feed my soul ! I am going to make a change, so if you see me with paint in my hair or a deep dark savage tan, I'm just getting on with my life, working through all the things that try to keep me down! So onward and upward and I hope you find your happy place today too!