Selfish am I

Today I am saddened by the news of more sickness in yet another family. Sometimes the load becomes almost to much to bare. Family and friends and even strangers stories come forth with great sorrow, sadness and suffering. My heart breaks for so many I do not know where to start, so maybe I will start with a thought I had last night while I lie awake listening to my husband tossing and turning trying to find a position that would alleviate his pain.
I thought right then and there how very selfish it was of me to bring my children into this world. MY sons and daughter have to go thru so much because I wanted something or someone to make my days brighter. I felt sick inside when I thought they may die without me there to hold their hands and whisper in their ears that all will be OK. I will not be able to be there for them in all that life throws at them. I just feel selfish ! I hear people celebrating everyday the birth of children and not one of us takes the time to think what we ask of a soul when we choose to bring them into the world without their consent. How do we knowingly bring humans into the world to participate in the difficulties without once sitting down and thinking of all the possibilities? Brad and I will die more than likely before our children leaving them here to find a way . We never once thought what it would or could be like if we left them prematurely . I know we gave them everything we possibly could and they are each quite able to navigate the world without us but that doesn't mean it is right to ask that of them.
I guess I am sorry and need to say my world has been made beautiful because I share it with them but I am certain I had my own best interests at heart when I brought them into this world.
Life is hard but watching the ones you love suffer is even harder. I pray that my family finds the peace of God to comfort them when I can't . I pray as I watch my friends and family get older and one by one have to say goodbye I never forget what an honor and blessing it has been to walk this lonesome road with them. I pray God gives us all the strength to get to the other side with peace and joy still in tact.I am sad today for the loss of life, the sickness and the broken homes and families I see today. May God forgive my anger and doubts when I questions His plan for humanity but today I wonder if God Himself isn't selfish ?

Family

Family is so much more than parents and children. Family is much wider and deeper than this. Family begins with two people falling in love and the union of that love produces humans who make the two so much more than they ever thought possible. Children , grandparents, aunts , uncles and cousins make the picture bigger and much deeper than one could imagine. Each family member a part of the other but yet one unto himself. Each person somehow feeling the need to answer to the whole. The weight of love overwhelming at times and yet able to give strength to each individual when needed. Family is a strong but crushing burden and joy but most always a blessing to each member. Each a part of the other but yet single in flesh and soul and responsibility. Living outside the boundaries of the clan of family we are someone completely different, inside we fall into the order of the tribe. We do what is expected mostly and if we do defy the order , if we march out of step , we risk the condemnation of the whole. Family is a claim others can make on our lives and expect a certain outcome. Family is beautiful and ugly. Family at its best leads and guides but never commands. Freedom to learn and grow within its safety should be the hope of all members but in most there are those who feel they have rights to anyone member because it serves the greater good or their personal desires. The function of a family should be to love and guide the individual to become all s/he can be, while giving the best foundation possible. Family should set free each member with no fear of who they will become trusting that the nurturing and education given within the family along with their love will prevail. Fear should never dominate any family, all things family should be the result of love and confidence that each member is a reflection of the whole. So family is the training ground for the individual, and a place for each member to return when they need to be refilled and encouraged. Family is never just restricted to blood relatives as friends can become a part of the clan and tribe of support and love, because love is the binding agent that makes and holds a family together and sets it free ! Love your family and hold them with arms open wide so each member may be all they are able to be without fear of disappointing anyone especially themselves. Love family with no conditions or strings , unconditional love makes the best humans possible!