Selfish am I

Today I am saddened by the news of more sickness in yet another family. Sometimes the load becomes almost to much to bare. Family and friends and even strangers stories come forth with great sorrow, sadness and suffering. My heart breaks for so many I do not know where to start, so maybe I will start with a thought I had last night while I lie awake listening to my husband tossing and turning trying to find a position that would alleviate his pain.
I thought right then and there how very selfish it was of me to bring my children into this world. MY sons and daughter have to go thru so much because I wanted something or someone to make my days brighter. I felt sick inside when I thought they may die without me there to hold their hands and whisper in their ears that all will be OK. I will not be able to be there for them in all that life throws at them. I just feel selfish ! I hear people celebrating everyday the birth of children and not one of us takes the time to think what we ask of a soul when we choose to bring them into the world without their consent. How do we knowingly bring humans into the world to participate in the difficulties without once sitting down and thinking of all the possibilities? Brad and I will die more than likely before our children leaving them here to find a way . We never once thought what it would or could be like if we left them prematurely . I know we gave them everything we possibly could and they are each quite able to navigate the world without us but that doesn't mean it is right to ask that of them.
I guess I am sorry and need to say my world has been made beautiful because I share it with them but I am certain I had my own best interests at heart when I brought them into this world.
Life is hard but watching the ones you love suffer is even harder. I pray that my family finds the peace of God to comfort them when I can't . I pray as I watch my friends and family get older and one by one have to say goodbye I never forget what an honor and blessing it has been to walk this lonesome road with them. I pray God gives us all the strength to get to the other side with peace and joy still in tact.I am sad today for the loss of life, the sickness and the broken homes and families I see today. May God forgive my anger and doubts when I questions His plan for humanity but today I wonder if God Himself isn't selfish ?