My Journey

This journey I am on has really tested every part of me. I have always thought I was strong even at my weakest moments but now I know how strong I really am. The physical challenges have been where I excell but this whole emotional roller coaster of looking in the mirror and not knowing the person looking back has shown me my true weakness. I have always been a Tom boy of sorts, never a real fussy, frilly girl. I grew up with four brothers and a very strong sister and I always felt like it was easy to go undetected. Today I am very self conscious and I don't like it. Never have I put a lot of thought in my appearance, I like looking sporty, not real fashion forward. I have always prided myself in being authentic, so wearing a wig or prosthetic breasts feels like I am not living my truth. My struggle is seeing myself as I am today, I don't look like my athletic fun loving self, I look like a sick person. I am eager to get past the chemotherapy so my life can return to normal. I am eager to get back on my bike and ride with the wind, I am eager to kayak the local water ways and put this all behind me but alas that mirror is ever ready to remind me that right here and now I must overcome the challenge at hand. The course has been set and I am going to remain happy and carefree while I do what I must to regain my healthy status. I am going to remember that the woman in the mirror is working hard to overcome something she never expected to face in life. I am going to work to make life better than it ever has been and I am going to embrace the person looking back at me in my mirror because she is overcoming and winning the battle against Cancer!