I feel like a dog chasing his tail!

 Life is hard at times and it isn't as some would have you believe, good things happen to good people and bad things happen to good people. People are going to believe what they want but I for one will not be gullible any longer. I will see the world and my life with my eyes wide open. In this life I have done my best to be a good person. I have given faithfully to God's work, I have been kind to His creation. I give of my time as well, yet still days come when I am at  standstill ! I am angry that things never seem to be easy. I hate to sound like a spoiled child but I feel ever so slighted.
 There are so many who have fared way worse and so many who have fared much better. I still have trouble freeing my soul of it's anger. This is my truth and I will speak it as long as I have breath. I am tired of struggling to keep my business thriving and my home running. I really thought by this time in my life it would be so much easier, yet it is not! I read of friends and their losses too, so I know I do not struggle alone. Life is a hard journey and I am weary. Everyday I have breath I will live my best but still wonder why the load never gets lighter. I suppose I am never going to have the experiences I had hoped for, so I will settle and accept what  is.
I really feel angry at myself for all the times I compromised when I should have expected more and given more. I feel like a dog chasing his tail, I work hard and get so very little accomplished. I guess I am a slacker who compromised and this is what I deserve. Frustration is an adversary that seems to have the upper hand right now but this too shall pass and I will rise above this moment and time and recover my composure. Today is but one day in a life time and if I get the chance, I am going to change, I plan to set things right in my world at least!