Suffering

If you are a Mother you know what true suffering is. Physical pain cannot compare to the suffering you experience when you watch the children you raised become adults and fall or fail at life. Our children suffer because of choices they make or they have illnesses we cannot cure or habits we cannot take away. Yet we hope we can show them the way and we hope they will listen but in fact we are powerless. The old saying "you can lead horse to water but you cannot make him drink," is true. We can sit with them in doctors offices and take them to meetings, we can buy them every medicine and book known to man but we cannot change another person or heal our own children but we can lead by example! We can find our healing and walk out our absolute faith before them. Once there was a time when I thought my rebellion was because of my parents but in fact it was part of life called growing up and finding my own way. I blamed my parents for every crazy thing I did , truly believing what I was doing was against them and their rules but instead it was me being me. Those experiences and poor choices helped me become the woman I am and I take peace in that knowledge, hoping that what became of me will be the fate of my own offspring.
Personal suffering is hard in any form but watching those you have carried in your womb or in your heart is worse. My heart is theirs to break but the good news is I am strong and able because I have the vision to know this too shall pass. Someday they too will understand that trusting God is the only way to find themselves. So today I choose to pray instead of worry and I choose to love them even when they are making decisions I do not like. Today I will take peace in knowing if I eventually found my way .....then so will they!