Today I am feeling somewhat better and I say that with hesitation because storms roll in at any given time, unexpected and uninvited! I am at the mercy of God and this defective brain He gave me. I still call on Him and trust Him because as a parent I know sometimes it is painful to let your children go through things, when you know deep down they will come out on the other side better.
I want to confess here and now I have always been ashamed to tell people I have Epilepsy, I have always said" I have a seizure disorder." Everything negative is attached to the word. The church I grew up in thought of it as a spiritual illness. I thought of it as hell on earth. Most every person I know who had Epilepsy was also suffering from other mental deficiencies so I was not about to throw that knowledge out there for fodder as the household I grew up in I was the slowest in more ways than one.

The first time I ever helped any one with the disorder was a friend who's child has seizures and I remember telling her the best part is when you pass out then you don't feel anything and you just sleep afterwards. I knew she somehow took some comfort that I could speak to her fears.

Most my life I have been unaware of anything but the gran-mal seizures I have, but now that I am in the throws of menopause I have learned that I also have some thing called partial complex seizures. This partial seizure needs to be renamed as it sounds so much less insidious than it really is. Example, Grand-mal seizure throws you to the ground whips your ass walks away, when you can, you get up clean yourself off and then crawl into bed and sleep it off. Partial seizure hits you while you are on your feet , you forget where you are and you be come overwhelmed with fear. Partial seizure hits you and you can no longer speak or at best you say part of a word over and over, all the while your mind is screaming what is happening to me? Partial seizure makes your head nod and your arm pulsate or your entire body jerk all while you have no control. These seizures hit way more frequent then the once a month generalized ,grand-mal but I can safely say they all suck!
Seizures make it impossible to drive. If I take the meds I need, they slow my brain activity down so much that the movement of the car hurling through space bombards my brain with so much info I have a panic attack but if I don;t take them I will possibly run into someone while my brain is out of touch!I suppose this is just too much information for some folks but my hope is it will bring this disease into the light and out of the dark ages or you could say I am bringing Epilepsy out of the closet here is your ticket to my personal view from the inside out hope you learn from my ride!