Acceptance

How do I accept what I do not like? How do I stop my obsessive and compulsive thinking? How do I change patterns of behaviour that have become a way of life? These are some answers I need. I am a person who likes order and change really scares me. I like everything to be predictable but find my life never seems to be the same. Change haunts me! I am afraid of change. I am afraid of too many things to mention and sometimes find myself paralyzed by that fear. Then I grow angry because I want peace and it is illusive as well.
Life is never going to be predicable. People leave home , people die without reason and people grow in many different ways. I am changing as well and the change in me has been slow but steady. I think the changes in me have been for the better but I must confess they have been painful! Me admitting to myself that how I do things is flawed is harsh. I have always tried to do what was right and it is hard to come to the realization that I have been wrong. I am a work in progress on a constant continuum of change. So now comes the part where I must make peace with all things out of my control......acceptance!