Courage to change

Do I have the courage to change? I am not sure of the answer. I have lived this way so long it is all I know. I am going through a time of change and I am most always struggling to be at peace. Today anger seems to be the strongest emotion I have, if you ask me why I feel so much anger I can't really say for sure. Anger lies just below the surface of my mind and can explode into my heart at any given moment. So I need to find the courage to uncover whatever it is that lies there in the dark recesses of my mind and release it once and for all.
I think for the most part I am what normal looks like but often for unknown reasons I am a simmering pot of emotions. These emotions find their way out due to the slightest stirring. Let me be clear, I get angry over small things but am a rock in the biggest situations, the ones that should knock me down find me sure and steady. So somewhere in my mind this imbalance is hiding and I want to be free from the uncertainty. I want to be at peace in any and every situation, so therefore change is at hand.
Change means living in the present and accepting what my life is. Change means working out my life, not the lives of others! My power is over me and my emotions , no one else. Change for me means I do not have to have all the answers. Change means loving others and accepting them as they are, without trying to change or fix them! Change means letting go of being the perfect wife, mother, sister, daughter and becoming my own best friend. My change needs to be about me here and now! I am learning to be who God created me to be, so I am letting go of all else that impedes me from finding my peace and working out my own salvation. I am changing into the woman I want to be, the one I was created to be and I know this much, change takes time and  I think I am worth the effort!