If I could see God , I would be humbled. I would be overwhelmed by the presence of the all mighty creator of the universe. I believe at the initial face to face encounter I would be speechless, But soon I am sure I would feel the joy of coming home to an old friend.
I know to some my words seem arrogant but I would be asking questions like a child. I have so many things I do not understand. I am certain this God who created man would not be surprised at all. I think He would find it refreshing. I would be real. Raw truth, me in my ignorance would want understanding, I would want some clarity. Is the God of all creation surprised by anything? I think not! I am what I am and he knows just who that is better than even I.
I will want to understand if we are just some kind of EXRERIMENT ? The world is so wicked I will want to understand how a loving and just God could keep his hands to himself. I will be like the Dennis Menace of heaven. I will be celebrating the goodness and glory of God but all the while asking more and more questions. I will walk with the certainty that His answers will fill me in such a way that I will be satisfied like never before. The questions will not be from a rebellious child but from one who is full of wonder and finally home where all the answers are.
Do not be afraid to ask him anything because he loves our conversations. If you doubt me go to the Psalms and read the words of David......He was a friend of Gods I want to be his friend as well ! Looking forward to the day answers are in my grasp.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Today my heart mourns for the people I know and love , people I call family and friends. My New Year has begun with my attendance of many funerals. I would safely say I have or am about attend as many funerals as ever in my whole life.I walk into this with total peace. I have found I must trust the hand of God. I sometimes rant about what I would do if I were God , all the while knowing how foolish I am.
Suffering is as much a part of life as any thing else. We start out the new year with renewed hope. We are fools to think that the year will be different. Time takes no prisoners, as the clock moves forward we get closer to our own appointed time. Still we think not me. Well I for one am making peace with death.
Death will come calling for me one day. I will not be afraid. I will let it embrace me I will yield to its call. I am certain that at that moment or hour my spirit will sing! I choose to believe the Bible so I leave with certainty. I will escape the confines of this body I have lived in and all the flaws it holds. No more pain or disappointment, no more fear or doubt, but the rapture of knowing I will meet my maker face to face. I will finally know the Lord who created and loved me. I will LIVE in a way I have never known. I will abandon all the dis function In my mind and soar like I can only dream of. I have decided to make death my friend , so as not to mourn so hard or desperate for those who leave me.
Job 13:15
Suffering is as much a part of life as any thing else. We start out the new year with renewed hope. We are fools to think that the year will be different. Time takes no prisoners, as the clock moves forward we get closer to our own appointed time. Still we think not me. Well I for one am making peace with death.
Death will come calling for me one day. I will not be afraid. I will let it embrace me I will yield to its call. I am certain that at that moment or hour my spirit will sing! I choose to believe the Bible so I leave with certainty. I will escape the confines of this body I have lived in and all the flaws it holds. No more pain or disappointment, no more fear or doubt, but the rapture of knowing I will meet my maker face to face. I will finally know the Lord who created and loved me. I will LIVE in a way I have never known. I will abandon all the dis function In my mind and soar like I can only dream of. I have decided to make death my friend , so as not to mourn so hard or desperate for those who leave me.
Job 13:15
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Change
Life is a constant ball of change. From moment to moment you never know just what to expect. I know that as we age we tend to become more resistant to change. I for one do not want that to happen to me. I want to walk in liberty. Liberty comes as a direct result , I think, of walking with God. I have never had to give away anything that didn't need to go. So God allows change in my life so I will be dependant on Him.
When I lost my father almost 25 years ago, I was crushed but hopeful ! My hope sprang out of the faith my father had instilled in me. God took Dad but walked with me during thee most difficult time of my life. As a direct result of letting go of my father I learned to cling to my heavenly Father. He took Dad and taught me to love and trust Him more.
Change is constant and relentless. People fail you, health fails you but you pick up the pieces of your life and move on. My desire is that I not only move on but I become more alive as a result. The things that I let go of means less luggage to drag around. I think God is trying to pry things out of our hands and lives that need to go but we cannot see it at the moment! We cling to the familiar. We wish for what was only to miss what IS !
I am changing right here right now. I will LIVE here in this moment content to feel and see and learn everything it wants to teach me. I will not let myself go to places in my mind that may or may not ever happen but I will be present so when the change does come I am standing on solid ground!
When I lost my father almost 25 years ago, I was crushed but hopeful ! My hope sprang out of the faith my father had instilled in me. God took Dad but walked with me during thee most difficult time of my life. As a direct result of letting go of my father I learned to cling to my heavenly Father. He took Dad and taught me to love and trust Him more.
Change is constant and relentless. People fail you, health fails you but you pick up the pieces of your life and move on. My desire is that I not only move on but I become more alive as a result. The things that I let go of means less luggage to drag around. I think God is trying to pry things out of our hands and lives that need to go but we cannot see it at the moment! We cling to the familiar. We wish for what was only to miss what IS !
I am changing right here right now. I will LIVE here in this moment content to feel and see and learn everything it wants to teach me. I will not let myself go to places in my mind that may or may not ever happen but I will be present so when the change does come I am standing on solid ground!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Trust ?
Today I make a decision to be real. i want some heaven on earth, so I believe the only way to achieve it is by living exposed. Transparency is what I am aiming for but I must be careful because sometimes I want to expose the ones I love and they are not me. I have the ability to be transparent if I choose but not at the expense of others.
I confess here on this page that it is work to trust yourself, others and even God. I think I must first work on trusting myself! How can I? According to scripture to love others I must love Pam first. I must be strong enough to trust that I can take what others do me and as a result of the good and bad things I experience become a more beautiful person from the inside out. My confidence is not about my own abilities but about the strength God gives me. If I am loved by the Creator then I must have value. I will walk in that confidence.
I am flawed deeply.I am human and my nature tells me not to expose my weaknesses but the Holy Spirit in me tells me I have nothing to fear. If God is in me because I asked Him to be in my life then ...... I must allow Him to guide me in my walk. I will trust because I make the decision to trust. It is like love or anything else it comes at a cost and the price we pay is hard work. Today I make the decision to be a person others can trust and I will put my confidence in God changing and transforming me daily, so that I may learn to lean on Him more so I may become more trust worthy ! I want my confidence to be because He chose me , not the other way around. So I am going to be transparent here and trust God will guide me into paths of righteousness. So I am working out my own salvation thru fear and trembling in this open forum, hoping my expressions of thought will help you as well as me.
I confess here on this page that it is work to trust yourself, others and even God. I think I must first work on trusting myself! How can I? According to scripture to love others I must love Pam first. I must be strong enough to trust that I can take what others do me and as a result of the good and bad things I experience become a more beautiful person from the inside out. My confidence is not about my own abilities but about the strength God gives me. If I am loved by the Creator then I must have value. I will walk in that confidence.
I am flawed deeply.I am human and my nature tells me not to expose my weaknesses but the Holy Spirit in me tells me I have nothing to fear. If God is in me because I asked Him to be in my life then ...... I must allow Him to guide me in my walk. I will trust because I make the decision to trust. It is like love or anything else it comes at a cost and the price we pay is hard work. Today I make the decision to be a person others can trust and I will put my confidence in God changing and transforming me daily, so that I may learn to lean on Him more so I may become more trust worthy ! I want my confidence to be because He chose me , not the other way around. So I am going to be transparent here and trust God will guide me into paths of righteousness. So I am working out my own salvation thru fear and trembling in this open forum, hoping my expressions of thought will help you as well as me.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Thoughts on the New Year, 2011
I am saddened by the loss of so many, in the past few days. Some young by my standards and some old but all loved by me and many others. I reflect on life and I am encouraged and I refuse to be angry at God as Death is part of life. We choose to pretend we are not ever going to die but truth is we come into this world with a given number of days. I have spent lots of time contemplating eternity ! I love what I understand it to be.
Eternity in my opinion is the ultimate "Homecoming". Coming home to the place where we began. Standing in confidence that who we are is finally enough. No more competition. Just rawness and openness. Real people as God made us. Free from the bondage of sin and lust, fear and doubt. Real humanity exposed. I am flesh and blood, yet so much more. I am woman but even more, I am human. Earth has only disappointment to offer,(everyone dies). Eternity to me is the ultimate New beginning, no Death to fear. No separation from those we love! So call me morbid if you like but I will spend the rest of my natural life meditating on eternity !
Eternity in my opinion is the ultimate "Homecoming". Coming home to the place where we began. Standing in confidence that who we are is finally enough. No more competition. Just rawness and openness. Real people as God made us. Free from the bondage of sin and lust, fear and doubt. Real humanity exposed. I am flesh and blood, yet so much more. I am woman but even more, I am human. Earth has only disappointment to offer,(everyone dies). Eternity to me is the ultimate New beginning, no Death to fear. No separation from those we love! So call me morbid if you like but I will spend the rest of my natural life meditating on eternity !
Saturday, January 1, 2011
How do I begin again?
Going to begin my idea of a blog. I love writing and it gives me an outlet to express my heart. Here is the place where mind and heart meet. Words give expression to fears and doubts, hopes and dreams. Written words let others see the inner workings of our most private thoughts. Abandon your fear of exposure and let down the walls that separate you from others. Let people see you struggle in your relationship with God? What can I say here that will change me or my attitude? I can let go and let my fears be exposed. I think shedding light on all I am, strengthens me. I believe I am stronger for working out my own salvation here for anyone to see. I am not afraid of judgement it only hurts the one standing in the place of judge. So I am going to be sharing what I call me here in written word ! But my life is more than I can express here..... so feel free to ask me to clarify any thought you see that causes you to question what I am really thinking !
Update my life
I haven't posted for quite a while as you can see ! I have been busy with life and family .....truth lost my way here ! Brad found this for me again ! So when I can I will post about the goings on in my life !
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