Trust ?

Today I make a decision to be real. i want some heaven on earth, so I believe the only way to achieve it is by living exposed. Transparency is what I am aiming for but I must be careful because sometimes I want to expose the ones I love and they are not me. I have the ability to be transparent if I choose but not at the expense of others.
I confess here on this page that it is work to trust yourself, others and even God. I think I must first work on trusting myself! How can I? According to scripture to love others I must love Pam first. I must be strong enough to trust that I can take what others do me and as a result of the good and bad things I experience become a more beautiful person from the inside out. My confidence is not about my own abilities but about the strength God gives me. If I am loved by the Creator then I must have value. I will walk in that confidence.
I am flawed deeply.I am human and my nature tells me not to expose my weaknesses but the Holy Spirit in me tells me I have nothing to fear. If God is in me because I asked Him to be in my life then ...... I must allow Him to guide me in my walk. I will trust because I make the decision to trust. It is like love or anything else it comes at a cost and the price we pay is hard work. Today I make the decision to be a person others can trust and I will put my confidence in God changing and transforming me daily, so that I may learn to lean on Him more so I may become more trust worthy ! I want my confidence to be because He chose me , not the other way around. So I am going to be transparent here and trust God will guide me into paths of righteousness. So I am working out my own salvation thru fear and trembling in this open forum, hoping my expressions of thought will help you as well as me.