Epilepsy

Most of my life I have had to struggle with seizures. Seizures come most often right before the onset of my menses, except now, random events have been plaguing me for years, since the onset of Peri-menopause. I am writing because I need to preserve some memories before they are lost.
Six years ago started this battle in my brain. The reason I set apart the time is because before this I could feel most seizures before they came, so I would be more careful and rest and put off seizures by taking better care of myself. Most every seizure was during my waking hours, sleep was my escape, I found safety in sleep, not so anymore but most likely that is when they begin. During every pregnancy I went off all medications because the meds posed more risk to my babies than seizures did to me. I noticed that during pregnancy or delivery I never had a seizure. My theory is when pregnant I ate better, rested more and generally took better care of myself for the sake of my unborn child. Bad cramps or any abdominal pain is usually the precursor to a seizure but labor pain did not bring the on!
So in the last 6 years everything has changed, prior to these years I have never had to go to the hospital due to seizures but in fact I have been 5 times at present. I am remembering so as to preserve information that may help me in the future or maybe even others.
My brain has been on fire with over stimulation for the past 6 years, I am losing current and past memories. People tell me things we did and it feels like they are speaking of a stranger. I see people I have known for years and they talk as if I should remember them and I am at a loss. My seizure disorder is left temporal lobe which is where memories are stored, so that explains most of my losses.
Most all my life I have had grand-mal seizures, so when all these news partial seizures started firing off in my brain.......I had no idea what was happening. My new Doctor asked me if other people were complaining about my behavior and I said yes, they say I don't pay attention when they speak or I have begun stuttering ( never done this before), I stare off into space, lose track of time and have right sided loss of coordination. Sometimes I wake biting my cheek or tongue and just recently I have been having myoclonic jerks. My body is having involuntary movement originating in my pelvis almost like a hiccup. These symptoms are not painful but very disconcerting. So I have decided to begin writing them down and preserve them so as to keep an accurate record of my decline or recovery which ever it may be. I want to record information that maybe someone will read and be comforted by or even give insight to doctors who treat people like me. I am going to keep all this public for now, unless it makes my children uncomfortable.
I feel like I am losing my ability to communicate as well and that is why I will keep posting and rewriting and what-ever necessary to explain what it feels like to live with this disease or disorder whatever you choose to call it !
Typing also helps keep both sides of the brain communicating ! I need that too ! So for now I will stop but as things happen I will be updating my blog and keeping record of my life with Epilepsy