Am I rebellious or is this relationship ?

Today I feel moved by the spirit of God to say I am a simple woman with a simple faith. There is no real pretense in my life that I am aware of , what you see is what you get. I love with no strings attached. Love doesn't cost anything with me. I write and expose my inner conflicts here but truly I live my life very privately. I prefer time alone and I prefer working out my own salvation here as opposed to a church setting. In many ways I am rebellious. My conflict really starts and ends with God and His people. I have always felt like I had an intimate relationship with God. My earliest memory is of being in Sunday school and knowing that God was bigger than the lesson I was being taught. I have had conversations with God for as long as I can remember. My conflict over the years has been the direct result of others trying to make me conform to their ideas and interpretations of God 's word, as they saw it. I have also been conflicted by God allowing the evil present in this world, wondering why He has not intervened. I believe that God calls to each of us for our own personal relationship with Him and if we will take the time to listen we may hear the answers we are seeking. This God of the Galaxies is in love with His creation but his creation is so caught up in law and order that we micro-manage the life and joy out of this world and each other. I am doing what I can to be free and have an abundant life in the presence of God trusting that His love for me is more than enough. My life has more joy and peace now, even tho I am going through the greatest trials I have ever personally experienced and I believe that is because I have let God out of the box called religion and now I can experience life with Him. I am a child of God.....I am finding my way home and I want to learn all I can on this journey, about me and others , so we can encourage each other each step of the way to our Father's house !