Anger

Anger is raging in my heart at this moment and if asked why or how , I have no answer. I believe it comes out of righteous indignation but who is righteous enough to feel this way. Well I am angry at watching others suffer pain and loss when they have already had so much taken from them. I am mad because some people have so much and seem so ungrateful. Gratitude is the opposite of anger and self pity, so I have to measure my steps carefully or I will become as those I judge. Yes I am in a judging condemning mood right now. I want with all my hearth to cut loose and tell the ingrates how stupid they are but miserable people can not change it seems and I want to heal and protect the broken but I am not God ,I can do neither. I have determined in this moment I am the stupid one or crazy , call it what you like. God allows beautiful people and families to suffer loss and hardship all the time. Some prayers never get answered the way we want. So here I am struggling one more time with my inability to accept what is. Here am I trying to figure out what God is thinking ( that should make us all laugh out loud). I am so short on good sense right now it is not funny. I am giving expression to my thoughts hoping I will find my way back to peace. How do I find a way to suffocate this fire in my chest? I do what I always do I argue with God till I am exhausted and then I accept life on His terms. I choose God over all my lack of understanding and I ask Him for the grace and mercy to get through this day . I will still encourage everyone, even those who will not receive it because that is who I am and I will pray because that is what I do. I forgive others because their lack of understanding is even less than mine. I accept that bad things happen to really great people and I ask God to forgive my arrogance and I pull through the battle to fight yet another day!