I want !

I want so much more ! I want more than I can see with my eyes. I want something deep and eternal ! I want something so deep eyes can not see nor can words express. I want answers to all the questions about life, the ones that feel so feeble and so desperate but yet need answers . I want something eternal that makes me certain all the pain and suffering on earth has had beautiful and wonderful meaning ! I want a knowledge that assures me all the death and dying has been about deeper love and meaning and all about God's greater purpose, no accidents. I want all the sleepless nights to be filled with conversations with God about the plan for my life , not silence I want all the graves ever dug to be about the lives lived having hidden beauty and great reward. I want a life that gives me pause, while giving me courage to believe and hold on for the chance to see the beauty behind it. I want to see beauty for ashes and I want the ability to believe and never doubt. I want to love with such beauty and mercy that healing comes forth and heals the ones I share that love with. I want my God to be so great that I never fear again and I never feel the pain of doubt or loneliness. I want my love and worship to flow out of my soul like the music that comforts our souls when we mourn or cry for all we have lost. I want an inner thought life that never feels conflicted when I talk about the grace or mercy of my God. I want blind love and faith for everyone. I want to trust my life has meaning more than I can conceive , so the searching can cease. I want life and life more abundantly and I want understanding and wisdom to give me rest. I want to walk out my love for God and man in a constant peaceful flow. The desire of my heart is to have wisdom, grace , mercy and love enough to bride the gap between me and my God and His creation.