Sometimes you need to put the pen to paper and let the words flow out of you ! You cannot hide behind a topic or the words will rebel and choke the life out of your thoughts. I am full every moment of everyday with these words and they compel me to let them out so I can find the woman hidden beneath. What is my higher purpose? This thought has haunted me and consumed enough of my life already but still it is not satisfied. The time has come to release myself from the bondage of self doubt and programing. My highest purposed has been served, I was and am still trying to be the best mother I know how to be. I have worked very hard to be the best wife I could possible be. So today I am setting myself free from those worries. To Brad and the kids I say I did what I knew to do .......now have at it. I am free to be whom ever I want , I am no longer this person who needs to be available to others , they are adults. I am free to be Pam and all that that means. I find when I am alone I discover I am way more content and happier than I even knew possible. I find that the woman is really not that far from the child , with one exception , as a child I had a wonderful imagination and that has been lost. I am free to chase the stars but find I am paralyzed by all the conditioning of a life time. So I am seeking the way to walk in a freedom that only children know. So when I posted earlier about dancing I was being real , I plan to Laugh out loud every time I can and dance everyday. I have every reason to suspect my service to God and humanity will be better served if I live light in my loafers. So if I seem lost in space it is me finding my joy and imagination , feel free to laugh with me cause I have a feeling the road ahead is bumpy and we are going to need each other and lots of laughter to make the days bareable.