DESPAIR

Everyday of my life I am at war. I rise to battle the demon of despair. It is so relentless that I am never at full rest. He nags me with the thoughts that say life is too hard and God will not answer your prayers ! This demon has been an unwelcome companion all the days of my life and often I wrestle him to the ground and subdue him but only for a time. He stalks my life and at any given moment I am his prey. I will never yield to his oppressive words or even when he strikes my body and it fails me or my weakest point when he strikes the ones I love. He often whispers in my ear where is your God now? I will never yield because God has given me an inner strength that lets me know He is there in my darkest moment. I have often wondered why God would allow such hideous creatures to roam about wrecking havoc on His family but alas I will never understand the ways or thoughts of God. I have determined that I want to be a loving person and there is nothing about my tormentor that is. So, the very thing he has set out to do becomes the very reason I run to God. I run to God because He makes me want to be good, my enemy brings out ugly things therefore causing me to turn to my Saviour for strength and rest. It is amazing how the despair makes me run after God not away. What amazes me most is that what the enemy of my soul has purpose for my very destruction has been used by God to make me more beautiful in His eyes ! God's plan takes every moment and every situation good or bad as an opportunity build up His children , He uses everything in life for us not against us. There are days when the battle seems to hard , fall and you will be safe in the arms of God , stand and He will be beside you , whatever you do know He is with even unto the end of days !